Man Who Believes Crackers Turn Into Jesus' Flesh Calls Nancy Pelosi Crazy
Views Monday, January 11th, 2010In a move which broke Irony Meters nationwide, a leading anti-abortion advocate declared Nancy Pelosi “crazy” for questioning certain Catholic Church teachings.
Red Alert!
What teachings did Nancy question?
Bless this cracker . . . and pass the Cheezus Wiz
. . . the Roman Catholic Church teaches that once an ordained priest blesses the bread of the Lord’s Supper, it is transformed into the actual flesh of Christ (though it retains the appearance, odor, and taste of bread); and when he blesses the wine, it is transformed into the actual blood of Christ (though it retains the appearance, odor, and taste of wine).
Of course not. Who’d question that? What’s Catholicism without ritualized cannibalism?
That Mary turns up in the most unexpected places!
Nah. Everybody knows THAT is true!
Did she consider it odd for people to cart pieces of dead people around the world so congregations can touch them for good luck?
Nah. Every good Catholic knows about relics!
So why is Nancy crazy? She seems to believe all the same bizarre, evidence-free things as Sedlak.
Oh, Nancy thinks that making abortion illegal restricts the “free will” of women.
Hmm, yes, I suppose it does. Sedlak rebuts:
Just because you have free will does not mean that you always make the right decision. I think she is very, very confused over what free will is and what free will would allow her to do and still be in good standing with the Catholic Church.
Free will, last time I checked, was the ability to decide for yourself what you wish to do. Free will, in the religious sense, means being able to choose to follow the dictates of one imaginary friend or another, or NOT follow those dictates, or pick a new imaginary friend.
Pelosi is spot on. Yes, making abortion illegal WOULD restrict the free will of young women. This is a fact. Whether their particular imaginary friends might like it or not does not change this fact.
I can certainly agree that Pelosi is a little whacked in the head. I think many of her ideas are completely off the wall . . . But she’s no more nuts than Sedlak, so far as I can tell!
Pot, meet kettle.
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- Man in Dress Forbids Kennedy from Joining in Ritualized Cannibalism. Makes National News.
Jenny Donati is webmistress and co-editor of Secular News Daily. Jenny is an outspoken secularist who believes firmly in the separation of church and state. She demands evidence to support arguments, and holds herself to the same standard. She doesn't write about herself in the third person . . . but there's a first time for everything.You can follow comments on this article through the RSS Comment Feed. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry.
If you’re going to bash a religion, at least get your facts straight. A Catholic priest doesn’t put a “cracker” into a monstrance, say magic words, and turn it into flesh. Bread is consecrated at Mass. Some of this is kept in reserve in a tabernacle, and it is THIS bread which is on occasion placed into a monstrance for Eucharistic adoration.
The so-called appearances of the Virgin Mary in bizarre things like tortillas, etc. are not recognized by the Church, yet you imply that the Church regards these as being genuine.
I could care less what you “believe”, but your childish, deprecating rant is every bit as ignorant as those things which you are calling ignorant. Pelosi was taken to task over her adherence to Catholic teaching and doctrine. The Church has every right to define these and to expect members to follow them. Most religions don’t let members pick and choose which teachings you’ll follow, any more than the state permits people to pick and choose which rules of the road they follow when they drive.
And regarding transubstantiation – the belief that bread and wine can be transformed into the body and blood of Christ while still appearing as bread and wine – you ridicule this greatly, but no doubt have respect for modern science. From quantum mechanics, we now know that appearances observed in our everyday life are simply shadows of the hidden realities of substances. Sound familiar? Matter not being in essence what it is in substance?
Would it be more accurate, then, to say that a priest says magic words over a pile of crackers all at once to call his god into it and turn it into flesh, then stores it without refrigeration or spoilage indefinitely until it is time for some of the crackers to be worshipped, and other of the crackers to be consumed with wine?
So, Catholics don’t believe in evolution (you can’t, if you believe the Bible), but believe in quantum mechanics? Interesting. Could you show me where the Pope announced this doctrine?