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Tuesday February 9th 2010

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Famous Atheist Abuses Animal

Famous atheist P.Z. Myers has confessed to abusing his housecat. Like most who reject God’s Love, he also finds it entertaining to mutiliate His Creation!

Myers writes:

We have two cats, and one of them, Merle, is a shaggy long-haired black beast. And I mean, really shaggy, and shedding constantly. Our first defense against burglary, I think, is the thick clouds of cat fur floating through the atmosphere in our house.

Well, last week, I had enough. I opened the freezer in our kitchen and discovered that all the ice cubes were matted with black hairy clumps. It was disgusting. I’ve told Merle over and over that if she’s going to sneak into the good Scotch behind my back, fine, but she’s going to drink it neat, like a civilized person. So now I’ve taken care of her.

I can’t post any more of this filth.

First, he is clearly guilty of attempting to instill gender confusion in a defenseless animal. Merle is a man’s name (think Merle Haggard), given to a female cat! What did he name his other cat? “Fish”? “Squid”?

Second, he encourages the poor animal to drink liquor! There’s no A.A. for cats! Is he trying to turn Merle into the feline version of a country-western singer? Does he give her marijuana, too?

Third, he got cat fur in his ice cubes. That could only happen if he tried to freeze the cat’s paws into blocks of ice! Why would he do such a cruel thing? It’s obvious!

Atheists hate Jesus and want to mock him whenever they can. They also know that ice floats on water.

Myers clearly wanted to freeze the cat’s paws into blocks of ice, so he could set Merle in the swimming pool and make it walk on water to mock one of Jesus’ greatest, Earth-changing miracles! What a disgusting thing to do, making an innocent cat his unwitting accomplice in blasphemy!

The fourth perversion he inflicted upon this defenseless animal is detailed in his blog. I’m sorry, it’s just too disturbing for me to write about.

I’m horrified by this wanton display of cruelty. Aren’t you?

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8 Responses to “Famous Atheist Abuses Animal”

  1. Disgusted! says:

    Well at least he isn’t trying to turn it into a Catholic priest. Darn hard to get cats to screw choir boys in the name of religion.

    • Jenny says:

      You’ve got that right, Disgusted! There is little that can compare with the Great Whore of Bablyon’s perversions!

      When will the Lord spare the world from the Catholic Cult’s atrocities?

  2. Mary says:

    I really hope you’re joking. A cat’s not going to understand she has the name of a male! Do humans get confused as to whether they are a flower or a human when they are called Lavender?

  3. Charles says:

    ummm… Mary, did you not notice that this article is in the “humor” section?

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