Suze Orman: Recovery by 2015?

Suze Orman predicts economic recovery by 2015, and offers her new book (free download! Oooo!) to help. Jesus predicts prosperity for all who follow Him, and offers His 2,000-year-old Book. Which do you choose?

I was cruising through the HuffnPuff Post today, seeing what the liberals are trying to soak us for now, and saw Suze Orman’s blog. She predicts that Obama’s stimulus package will work wonders, with people becoming hopeful about their portfolios by . . . 2015.

Yes, 2015. Six long, hard, lean years.

After pointing out that many people have false hope for 2009 — the Dow dropping 32% in 2008, the worst year ever, doesn’t mean there’s anything to prevent 2009 from being as bad or worse — Suze makes a prediction, and unwittingly provides us the answer to all our woes:

What is so important for you to understand is that there is no magic market wand you or I can wave to make this all go away. And I am so sorry to say that I think it is foolish to think that [Obama's] massive [socialist] stimulus package will be an insta-cure. I can only pray it will help, but recovery is not going to be quick and there are no easy solutions.

There it is, in black and white. “I can only pray.”

God loves you, friend. He doesn’t want you to be hungry and poor. He wants you to be happy and prosperous. In order to achieve this prosperity, you can take three routes:

• You can put your faith in the “financial experts” who got us where we are today. If this is the route you choose, I suggest you hustle on over to Oprah.com and download Suze Orman’s new book, Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan.

In a callous effort to boost her bloated name recognition even further, Orman is giving away free downloads of the entire book until January 15. 227 pages of Orman’s shrill harping about debt and action plans and stretching your dollars and “People first, then money, then things”. Yippee. :lalala:

• You can put your faith in Obama’s Socialist Utopia. Say goodbye to anything resembling free markets, take the Mark of the Beast, and trade in Obama Dollars.

There may not be much choice in accepting That One’s plans; of course, you can refuse the Mark. But that may not be forthcoming for some time yet.

• You can put your faith where it belongs, in Jesus. Prayer. You can stop worrying about silly things like your mortgage. After all, He says He will take care of you!

Malachi 3:

10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

If you show your faith by giving back to Him, and by following each and every one of His commands, He will pour out His abundance to you!

Where God guides, God will provide. Is God not providing? That means you’re not allowing Him to guide!

Are you unemployed, and on the verge of foreclosure or bankruptcy? God knows! Why, He knows more about you than that ARIA supercomputer in Eagle Eye!

Matthew 10:

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

Don’t curse your former employer for bad management decisions or poor investments. Stop whining about the freeze on credit markets making it impossible to sell your home. God isn’t punishing you for someone else’s choices! He’s withholding provision from you because of something you are doing (or not doing)!

Take a close look at your life.

• Have you given your every thought to Jesus?
• Have you foresaken all those in your life who hate Him, even if they’re your parents or your children?
• Have you obeyed His every command? There are over 600 in the Bible. God expects us to follow each and every one; disobedience is a sin, and any sin leads you to Hell.
• Have you even read the Bible? Have you meditated on it day and night? Or do you prefer the HuffnPuff Post?
• Have you tithed? That means 10% of your gross income to His work, friend. And let’s not play that tax-deductible nonsense; if you’re claiming a deduction and saving on your taxes, the amount you save should be part of your tithe! (Why, yes, we accept (non-deductible, to aid in your Salvation) donations using the PrayPal button in the right sidebar!)

Which will you choose? Will you put your faith in the likes of Suze Orman, who has created exactly zero universes in her short lifespan, or will you instead trust in the Creator of All, and let Him lead you, even if He means to guide you into homelessness and abject poverty to teach you to follow Him correctly?

Related articles:

1. Americans Abandon Jesus for "Psychic"
2. Abortion: What Would Jesus Do?
3. Heavenly Head Trip: Is there sin or free will in Christian Heaven?
4. Man Who Believes Crackers Turn Into Jesus' Flesh Calls Nancy Pelosi Crazy
5. Atheists Visit White House – Religious Right has Fit

Jenny Donati is webmistress and co-editor of Secular News Daily. Jenny is an outspoken secularist who believes firmly in the separation of church and state. She demands evidence to support arguments, and holds herself to the same standard. She doesn't write about herself in the third person . . . but there's a first time for everything.

You can follow comments on this article through the RSS Comment Feed. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry.